i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i think my cat just said my name.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
