The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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