sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just cropdusted the office
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
