Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
