I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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