His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
