its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
