She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
