i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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