Soap is not a condiment
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
