she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Randomize
