I think my vagina is haunted
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
