We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
