Screwed.edu
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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