He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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