Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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