It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
