we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is it because I queefed?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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