Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
