it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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