Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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