WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
