Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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