Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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