Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
