I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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