So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
