The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
