I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
