i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
