Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
