I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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