shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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