She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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