so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She bit a glass in half.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
