i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
