when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
