I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
