weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
