Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
