dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
