yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
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