weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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