Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
