i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
