lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
