the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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