I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Randomize
