bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
