Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
