haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
