He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
