Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
