Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
