We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Text me some of your sweat
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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